Strength is as Strength Does: elements of a strong woman of God.

What is strength? And, who is a strong woman?  What is the difference between a strong woman, and a strong woman who fears the Lord?  We look to Abigail’s story for clues (1 Samuel, Chpt. 25)

Below, you’ll see questions as they popped into my head during the study of this chapter followed by answers that popped back and my personal conclusions:

 1. Ask yourself what questions you have about the topic.  Write the questions down.

 * v.2 – why was an intelligent and beautiful woman married to such a surly, ill-mannered husband?  Arranged marriage is likely. Not the husband of her dreams, by a long shot. 

* v.3 – had David had it in mind to approach Nabal all the time his men protected this man’s investment? Kind of manipulative. David waiting till the harvest, a time of great festivity and feast before approaching Nabal for a request of whatever Nabal’s household could spare.

* v.4 – Was there a purpose behind David sending ten young men? To carry back the load, and for presentation.  To signify the virility of the group they represented. If they are young enough, they may even be less threatening.  It seems that David approached Nabal in what may be the meekest way he could have.

v.10 – Was Nabal unaware of who this David was? The highly favored warrior who conquered a giant in God’s name?

* v.14-17 – Abigail obviously had a raport with and the respect of her servants (prov.31:15). They not only confided in her regarding the impending doom about to fall on the household, but trusted she might actually be able to head it off, somehow.  They also felt comfortable enough to be candid with her regarding her husband’s wicked and stubborn nature.

v.18 – how did she know in what way to react and so quickly? Maybe she’d had experiences having to deal with volatile and urgent situations.

 v.18 – how did she know how much to get? 

v.19 – why did she have the servant go before her? Maybe to show the food first as a peace offering.  There were probably several donkeys, so maybe it gave her that much more time to figure out how she would approach David. (prov.31:18)

 v.19 – Was she wrong or disrespectful by taking matters into her own hands and not referring to her husband with the new information regarding their impending doom? 

v.22 – I mean, I understand David is hungry, but dang! Killing everybody? What did everybody do?  Why not just take some sheep? Perhaps part of David’s anger stemmed from the fact that he was so disdained right before his men, who’s respect he needed to maintain.  Perhaps part of his reaction was pride as much as vengence.  He was about to lose face, then he’d not only be a runaway in the desert, but alone and mocked.

 v.24 – Abigail does not seem to introduce herself as Nabal’s wife. Does she assume David is already aware? Or does she deem that fact unimportant? Or even, a negative? 

v.24 – Why did she take the blame on herself?  Why didn’t she just apologize for Nabal’s behavior? She redirected David’s attention onto her, (prov 31:11-12) and not her husband.  In doing so he would not feel obligated to take the matter up with Nabal, but instead with the woman in front of him. And, she saved both David and her husband some face and probably Nabal’s life, as well.

v.25 – Did she just straight up diss her hubby?  Yes.

 v.26 – “my master”.  Yikes!  She is really sucking up!  But, she planned that. She is carrying the lives of an entire household on her efforts.  What wouldn’t you do for your own?  She’s not doing it for her own life, but for others’. (prov.31:27) 

v.29-31 – She’s smart and bold. She not only acknowledges her household’s wrong, but highlights David’s wrong, as well, but prudently (prov. 31:26): She acknowledges who David is and the stressful situation he is in; while also stating her faith in the same God that David serves, the God that will deliver David from Saul.  In turn, she may be insinuating that God will do the same in the ‘Nabal’ situation.  She also manages to point out the current overreaction by David and the mistake he is about to make, all in an amazingly tactful way.

v.32-35 – Surprising how quickly David sobered from such a great rage.  Her words struck home, probably because she reminded David of his relationship and dependency on God.  David, for his part, was humble and wise enough to receive the message God was sending him through Abigail.  “I have heard your words and granted your request” v. 35 (prov. 31:30)

v.36 – Nabal likely would not serve himself, so who masterminded and catered this banquet?  Why did he not question his wife’s presence?  Obviously he didn’t expect her at a celebration. Had she planned around the banquet, as well?  Perhaps even ensured that his cup was never empty??

v.36 – Nabal is an idiot! Oblivious, in his own world of food, drink and immediate satisfaction.

v.36 – Was Abigail being kind, allowing her husband to enjoy his moments?  Was she just tired and not wanting to deal with him, especially drunk? Did she realize the futility of relaying the day’s occurrences to him in the state he was in?  How much of shoulder would Nabal offer once sober?  At least for the rest of the night only her and her servants carried the load of understanding of their near death.  And, her adaptability to urgent situations indicates her familiarity with bearing the brunt of the failures in the household on her shoulders.  That’s strength. (prov.31:25)

 v.37 – Moral to the story, Mess wit David and your dead, man! Absolom should have paid attention to his dad’s old war stories. v.42 – What happened to the household? David did not take it over following Nabal’s death.  Why? Too prominent…he wouldn’t exactly be hiding then, would he?  So, Abigail left a life of a rich widow who was well-respected by her household to go into hiding with David in the desert?  Wow.  She’s dedicated. A down for whateva chick. 

2. Look up verses in the Bible that deal with the topic.  Use a concordance or Bible dictionary or Commentaries if needed. Write the verses down.  (I used Proverbs 31 as a cross-reference because it lists traits of an ideal woman of God. Though even in its intro verse, Proverbs 31:10, indicates the unlikelihood of any woman fulfilling ALL of those traits.  But, at least it helps us recognize the fruits of a woman whose heart is after Christ. Q.)

Online Resources via Biblegateway.com or Crosswalk.com

• Online Scripture Search
• Nave’s Topical Bible – 20,000 topics and subtopics
• Commentary

3. Write down more questions you have after reading the scriptures. You will have more questions.

 Was Abigail a perfect woman of God? 

She insulted her husband and went behind his back.  She was one of David’s many wives, which could quite possibly have triggered some jealousy/insecurities.  She’s all flesh and blood. And, this is only one portion of her story that we see.  Some people have seen many of us on our best days, but if they knew the whole tale, they’d see a very human one.

 What makes these traits godly? Why can’t this just describe a really great woman?  What’s the difference between a woman who loves God and a woman who does not, but exhibits similar characteristics? 

The woman that loves God will allow Him to direct the use of her gifts.  Her relationship with Him will help her to not take her strengths for granted or misuse the power they give her.  Her fear of the Lord will give her the boldness and the prudence needed to appropriately encourage those around her to mature in their own walk.